Questions about marriage. Is it what I really want from life?

Tonight at work we had a hen’s party. The bride to be was gorgeous and that got me thinking about if I will ever get married. I use to think about it all the time and once upon a time I had the ring and everything and I was hopeful and planning a wedding. That change and I was single again.

Well tonight I’m thinking if I am ready to do that. I am such a loner and I enjoy my own company 9 times out of 10. I would love to get married but at the moment I couldn’t think of anything worst. Having to get everything ready, from the much loved dress to the little things like napkins and confetti. I couldn’t see the point to all that and yes I am a girl who dreams about it but I feel like that was a long time ago when I was a girl.

I have grown up the hard way and now I dread the little silk box that is meant to mean pure happiness. The girl at work who is happily married told me all the good things about it but the one thing she couldn’t help but laugh at was my suggestion of only having one man, one cock and two balls for the rest of your life. I am in my prime and I couldn’t think of having to settle with only one man when men still watch me pass in a bar as if I was the dessert that they were never aloud to eat!

Not putting tickets on myself and it could be just the drinks talking! I see happily married people in the world walk by and I still think “oh isn’t that cute” but honestly I could only see myself every being a single mum and a head strong woman for the rest of my life. I realize that there is going to be a time in my life when my looks fail me and I see all the men that wanted me going for younger girls but still I’m to wild to be tamed by just any man.

Than I started thinking of the qualities that I would want in a man and I couldn’t think of a single one that I could stomach. I’m not much of a romantic. To me it’s more like show up naked, bring rum and ciggies! LOL it’s a shame to think of my life turning into something that some people would call bare and lonely but I had some really great friends who have everything in life that I should want and there still not happy. I’m not an easy person to please when I’m looking for a relationship but hey I’m not looking for that. I am happy being me and I love my own company and as for my sex life. Well let’s just say that my dreams go wild at night so I’m really not missing out on much!